You smell like stripper and shame
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
