i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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