i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
