Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
