I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
