Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
