i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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