you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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