marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
