Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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