brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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