i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
