dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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