Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
