not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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