you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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