I accidentally burped into my bong.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
