Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
