we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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