Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
