Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My liver just had a heart attack.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
