What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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