You made me cry and you don't even care
I accidentally burped into my bong.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Are my feet made of real feet?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
