He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't turn off my feet"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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