i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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