I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
