Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
