Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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