Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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