your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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