Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
