Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
