With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
