I wannas sexs uuuuu
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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