And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Who died my cat blue again?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
