We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
