Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
