have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
