I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
