I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
