At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
