there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
