I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
