You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
