Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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