ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
