I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
