dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
