Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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