...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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